a conversation the other day with a friend had me thinking hours after the conversation had ended. angie among some other stylists and myself helped cut hair at the high school i graduated from, for a locks of love event. as we were driving out of the parking lot angie asked if i had had a high school boyfriend. i laughed and said "oh yeah. one i thought i was gonna marry." we both chuckled cause how many girls are 16, date a guy for a few years, and of course think you'll be together forever? im not the only one right? so i kinda told her our little story and i heard one of hers.
i told her about a specific event that changed my outlook on all past friends, or ex boyfriends in my life. before i dated luis (for the .5 seconds before we got married lol) i had briefly dated a guy who i had known pretty much my whole life. his family and my family went back for generations. we dated for a while, and he ended up getting back together with a girl he had dated before me. she pretty much hated me, to be totally honest, and so he and i never spoke again. when i was pregnant with cristiano i got the news that he had died in his sleep. i was so sad...for so many reasons. he was obviously way too young to die. i felt horrible for his family. no parent should ever have to burry a child. and i was also sad that when he died...we were not on the best of terms.
i then thought that maybe i should clear up some things with people in my past who i had not left things very well with! i emailed my high school boyfriend, and the guy i had dated after him for a couple years. it was short and sweet. i was not looking for a friendship by any means. i let them know what had happened and why i was emailing them. that i was sorry for anything that i had done that wasnt right. and that i wished them the best in whatever they had going on.
my high school boyfriend emailed me back and snapped. apparently 5 years after our break up was just not enough for him. the other guy emailed me back the nicest things. said he had heard i was having a baby and he wished me luck and knew i would be a good mom.
this is what it made me learn...that life is too short. dont waste it holding a grudge. because usually when you do, you are the only person you are hurting. ive learned to be grateful for the people who have passed thru my life, for they have helped me become who i am today. if my high school boyfriend hadnt broken my heart, or if the next one hadnt made me realize how important my culture was and that i needed someone who was on board with that, would i be able to love luis the way i do?!?!? i dont know. and i dont want to know.
i am who i am because of my life experiences. good, bad, and everything in between.
