oh hey summer...you're right around the corner!

i know i know!!! its only march. but i feel like summer is juuuust around the corner. and this year, i wouldnt mind if it took a while to get here. yes i do love the weather, and ive always been more of a flip flop girl than anything closed toe. but this summer is going to be so different for us, that im not exactly looking forward to it!
i have been to pico so many times with my family. and since i have had cristiano we have gone every year. i love being able to go there and see all of our family and friends, and for luis' parents to see their grandkids. cristiano is 4 and we have been 4 times. but this year is different. this year we will not be traveling back to luis' hometown.
although there are a few reasons as to why we will not be making the trip this year...the main one is how expensive it can get! yes...we are lucky enough to pretty much be taken care of once we are there. but do you know how much it costs to get there?!? last year we paid almost $6,000. and that was with tiago sitting on my lap!! and by the time we go again he will be over 2 years old and be paying full price! its crazy how they can jack up the prices...because SATA is the only airline that flies into the Azores. so unless you want to row yourself over there in a boat...they are your only option!!
i know that this summer will be fun no matter what we do. we plan on maybe camping or taking the kids to sea world. but i will of course be missing my pico! a few weeks ago cristiano told me how much he missed me parents when they were in china. and i told him "oh ano they were only gone a week. when they go to pico this summer they will be gone a lot longer." and he replies "yes mommy they will but we just go with them right?!". after i explained to him that we were not going to be able to go this year he started to cry. and between sobs was telling me how his avo pico (luis' dad) hasnt seen him since hes been 4 and that he bets he misses him and needs to see him! it broke my heart!
i know for a fact that my in laws miss us all, especially my kids. but i also know that we will be able to go back there again. hopefully sooner than later! and as for this summer....we will make new memories, enjoy each other, and make the best of what we are still able to do!

whos body is this?!?

first off i cant believe im writing this! but what the hell?!? ive put everything else out there!
i often find myself looking in the mirror and asking...whos body is this that im living in!?!? and on monday night at our weekly girls night the topic of our bodies came up (as it often does). i have 4 very close and awesome friends ( we refer to ourselves as the fab 5...for obvious reasons) and although we are all so different (personality and body type alike) we all realized that we have room for improvment in our own way.
so tuesday started a new day for me! im gonna work on this body. im going to exercise and eat healthy. i deserve to. my kids deserve to have a healthy mom. luis deserves to have a wife who is happy with herself...which leads to being an all around better person.

this is what i want to look/feel like. us in 2007. i will get back to this!

although i do believe that after you have kids  the lbs are harder to shed...i dont want to use that as an excuse! luis and i would love to have more children, and im admitting it....im afraid to gain more and more weight with each pregnancy and its only going to get harder and harder to loose. so what better time than now?! and what better group to be doing it with!?

does growing up always mean growing apart?

ive always wondered if growing up automatically means growing apart. there are many relationships in my life that have definitely proven this wrong, and a few who have shown this to be true.
i come from a big family. of course. i am portuguese. and my whole life we have always done everything together. birthdays, christmas, easter, thanksgiving, even new years day. i am 1 of 18 grandchildren on my silveira side. and 1 of 7 on my azevedo side. so a normal family function used to be 40 people or so. that may sound like alot but to us it was normal. it seems though that as we have all gotten older people have become to busy, decided to go their own way, or are just done being a family. i find it crazy that a cousin of mine (who lives in this town) has yet to meet my children. i dont exactly think we can assume that within the last 4 years this person has been to busy to meet cristiano, or that in the last 16 months they havent found a spare moment to see tiago.
here is what my dad has told me time and time again... why would you want someone there who doesnt want to be there? and it is so true. i am very grateful for the amazing family i have. for the ones that still show up. and for the ones that dont, i am sorry. for you that is. i am doing fine. you on the other hand will someday realize that when things get tough, alot of times, your family are the only ones that stick around. we have all in fact seen this happen with my family.
this is something i do know...my kids are blessed beyond belief with the family they do have. they have amazing grandparents both here and in pico. awesome aunts and uncles. great cousins. and tons and tons of people who love them.
i am finally at a place that i can just let things be the way they are. i can no longer be bothered or loose sleep over people who choose to not be in my life.
my hope is to raise my kids the way i was raised...to know the importance of family. to remember that you should never make someone a priority in life when you are just an option in theirs.