its been a while since ive had the time to do this. being a mom of 3 is no joke! busy busy busy!!
ive been thinking a lot lately about the judgement that moms put on other moms. a HUGE issue that people like to comment about is peoples birthing plans. i thought...after having pretty much every type of birth with the boys that maybe i could slightly shed some light on this topic and maybe put things into perspective for people. so before i say anything else i think it should be known that i had a 24 hour labor, with 3 hours of pushing, an epidural on hour 7, and ending with a c section with cristiano. with tiago i had a planned c section and 10 days before that he came. and he came quick. 4 hours total. and he arrived 15 minutes or so after i got to the hospital. an unexpected and unplanned drug free vbac. and then there was emilios birth. i started contracting at 32 weeks. was opting to not have a vbac because of the risks, and finally at 37 weeks we went in for a very controlled and calm c section.
what really pisses me off (for lack of better words) is when someone finds the need, or right, to put in their 2 cents. so someone wants to get drugs practically when they find out they are pregnant, who cares? people plan on doing vbacs and it goes off without a bump in the road. awesome! some people do it drug free from the get go and can stick to their original plan. lucky! some people have a plan and once it gets going its not going to be possible. frustrating! my issue is why do we feel like we have the right to look down on someone for what they choose to do. obviously all of us have the same goal at the end: to get our baby here and healthy. whatever way that may be.
to be honest i was that person at one time. on hour 2 of pushing with cristiano my dr said he would give me another hour to try. cristiano was crowning at every push. and he would go all the way back in when i stopped. when the dr came back in to tell me i had to have a c section because i was putting the baby under stress i felt like a failure. my sister (who allowed me to be in the room with all of her childrens births) gives birth like its an olympic sport. and she gets the gold every time! lol. my sister in law...pushed out TWINS!! and here i was, not able to have my baby the way i wanted. i cried. but i knew that my goal was to have him healthy. and so a c section it was.
even with emilios birth, i had TONS of people questioning why i wasnt doing a vbac. saying i had already done one. why not do it again. to be honest...i didnt have time to be scared of my vbac the first time. he was coming out no matter what. but this go around luis and i discussed it and we were not willing to take that risk of my incision rupturing and possibly killing the baby and/or me. yes the odds of that are low. but not unheard of. and that scared me. i did not feel like i would be able to give it a good run, if i had that in the back of my mind the whole time.
the whole point to all of this is, people are doing what they can, and what they feel is best. dont judge. there are pros and cons to every single situation. we cant hold it against someone if their list is different than ours.
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